“NOT ON THE COUCH!” and you lost all your calm seeing your 7 year old leave her markers uncapped. As you burst into a series of rants, a wave of regret washes over you when you witness your child’s eyes brimming with tears. It becomes all too clear that your handling of the situation was far from ideal. Why did you allow yourself to succumb to the overwhelming flood of emotions? If even adults find it challenging, can children truly navigate their feelings in the heat of the moment?
As a parent, it’s imperative to empower your child so they can rule their emotions instead of letting emotions rule them. Emotions being an integral part of human experience, begin to shape us from a very early age. Islam encourages understanding and harnessing the power of emotions for a purposeful life. In the seerah of Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him), we find guidance for managing every emotion: from grief to curiosity, pride to depression, the whole gamut.
Emotional Awareness: Recognizing and Validating Emotions
The first step in unlocking your child’s emotional potential is to acknowledge and validate their emotions. This helps the child know how to recognize and name their feelings. It’s important to create a safe and non-judgemental space where your child feels comfortable expressing their feelings.
When your child shares their emotions, validate them by saying,”I know that you’re feeling angry right now, and that’s okay.” This acknowledgement helps them feel understood and accepted.
‘Emoji Express’ enables visual recognition of the emotions and helps the child name the feeling. If you can name it, you can tame it.
Open Communication
Free and honest communication is key in nurturing emotional intelligence in your child. How do we encourage such conversations?
Ask asking open-ended questions like:
“How do you feel about your day today?” or
“What made you happy (or sad) today?”
By doing this, you’re not just promoting a healthy relationship with yourself but also establishing strong foundations for a healthy relationship with your child’s emotions that will benefit them for years to come in sha Allah.
Emotional Regulation
Most behavior issues are rooted in a child’s incapacity to self-regulate emotionally. They may have tantrums, meltdowns, or outbursts when they can’t understand and manage their feelings. When a child is caught up in an emotional state, they are unable to process any logical reasoning. Their right brain takes over and blocks all paths to the left brain that thinks logically. Don’t give up just yet! There is a way! You can tackle this successfully by first connecting to their emotions, and then channel them towards logical reasoning.
As a parent, you can guide your child to develop emotional regulation skills. Train them to use calming techniques like deep breathing or making wudhu if they’re old enough to do so.
Empathy
Exhibiting empathy is crucial but often neglected. When your child is experiencing an emotional takeover, instead of dismissing their emotions, offer a listening ear and a shoulder to lean on. By doing so, you show them that it’s okay to feel and express their emotions. They may struggle to open up at first, but eventually with consistent nurturing, you’ll notice them flourish and appreciate your safe embrace.
You are the Role Model!
Several years ago, I read a quote that I find true to this day: “Children follow your actions more than your advice”. Be a positive role model for emotional expression and regulation. Sounds easier than it actually is, but your perseverance will pay, not just for you but also for your child’s emotional quotient. Share your own feelings with your child and demonstrate how you cope with various emotions in a healthy way. Three practices that you must adapt are:
- Active Listening: No interruptions or judgments.
- “I” Statements: Emulate how to express your needs and emotions using ‘I’ statements and avoid blame-games.
- Sharing: Share your childhood stories to help them understand that what they are going through is a normal part of growing up.
Problem-Solving
Things never really slow down with growing children, do they? Each passing day introduces challenges that surpass the complexities of the ones before. These circumstances have the power to evoke a wide range of emotions. Let’s delve into innovative approaches that can assist in managing these challenging emotions. By exploring problem-solving strategies and guiding them towards constructive ways to tackle difficult situations, we empower children to seize control of their emotions and transform them into catalysts for personal growth.
I personally find ‘Emoji Express’ incredibly helpful in this regard as each emotion displayed is not simply left in conflict, rather, each character displays ingenious ways to overcome the obstacle. For example, when Bored Bilal doesn’t know how to kill his boredom and is getting exasperated, he remembers his boredom jar and pulls out a piece of paper with a random fun activity. As a parent, I found this idea very cool and easy to implement.
Unlocking the power of emotions in your child is an ongoing process. It requires patience, empathy, and a deep understanding of your child’s unique emotional journey. By providing a nurturing and supportive environment, you empower your child to embrace their emotions, develop emotional intelligence, and navigate life’s challenges with confidence.
Muslim Kids TV has launched a New TV Show: ‘Emoji Express’ featuring adorable characters with memorable alliterative names like Nostalgic Nadya, Curious Coco, etc., which can be the perfect conversation starter you and your child need to unleash the power of emotions from within. Don’t forget to check it out today!